 Positive Parenting A Successful Parenting Skill That Works Like MagicPositive parenting, a successful parenting skill, meansnoticing the things your child does right and taking the time to praise her positive behavior. Negative child behavior, like a sore thumb, immediately catches a parent's attention, which, usually, rapidly results in corrective action. Mistakes are often loudly and emphatically pointed out to the child, while the many things she did correctly remain unnoticed and, therefore, unpraised. On the other hand, what parents often forget is that everyone yearns for recognition. Hence, positive parenting, a successful parenting skill, works like magic with everyone, especially our children. All parents desire positive behavior from their children. When we parents genuinely praise our childrens' behavior, we are, not only positive parenting, but we are acting as positive behavior role models for our children. In other words, by praising our children, we are both thanking them for their good behavior and teaching them to recognize and thank others for good behavior. This is positive parenting at its best. Research indicates that children learn best when their learning is associated with positive feelings on their part. Therefore, praising what they've done well improves their learning of that behavior and is another successful parenting skill. Therefore, for optimal learning create positive feelings in your child by praising them for what they've done well or correctly. Negative parenting causes the child to automatically associate the parent with fear, something bad. Positive parenting causes the child to associate the appearance of the parent with something good. This positive parental image makes the child want to please his parent. This is why it works in the long run, while negative parenting works only over the short run as the fear association subsides. Positive parenting means taking the time to notice and praise the things your child does right, by pointing them out, and then praising him for his good behavior. It is important that the praise be honest and in proportion to the importance of what was done correctly. Successful parenting skill requires genuineness. For example, after eight year old Mary tidied her room, dad might say, "Good, Mary, you remembered to dump the waste basket and you've done an excellent job lessening the clutter in your room. I notice some toys under your bed? Is that where we agreed they belong?" Mary has been caught by her dad, taking the easy way out, by sliding her toys under the bed. She knows it is wrong, but her dad doesn't make a big deal out of it. Instead, he not only praises the things she's done well, but puts the responsibility back on Mary to determine if she did the right thing-a very successful parenting skill. Most kids of Mary's age possess a strong sense of right and wrong. Chances are Mary will do the right thing and feel good about herself for doing so. Her dad, not only praised her and gave her a second chance to redeem herself, but he showed sensitivity and respect for her feelings. This exemplifies positive parenting and the successful parenting skills involved in showing respect and sensitivity to our children. It's important to remember that kids can manifest very different behaviors even at the same age. One child may prove very sensitive and a simple glance by dad in the direction of the the bed might have led to him scrambling to put the toys in their proper place. Another child may have completely ignored dad's question regarding the toys. Positive parenting takes these individual child differences into account. Successful parenting skill requires flexibility at times. In the latter case, dad may have to reach into his parenting skills bag and find the approach that works with this child. For example, it might be that the child ignored dad because he was rushing to play with friends. In this case he needs reminding that tidying his room comes first. On the other hand, the child might be in a bad mood and need to talk about a problem. Or it might be the child normally does tidy his room properly, but today he just needed a little help getting started. Finally, it is important to show the child that he ignored his dad, and just how that must feel, and what he might do to rectify his action. Successful parenting skills require consistently and calming correcting our children. Positive parenting, also, means delivering praise with the proper facial expression, in other words, not going about praising mechanically. Hence, a parent needs to think about praising ahead of time and feel right about it in his or her own mind. Good eye contact is important, not only in communicating with your children, but, especially when praising your child. This is another successful parenting skill. Another aspect of positive parenting is letting your child know how much she means to you, not for what she has done right but because of the unique person she is. This is sometimes known as unconditional love. The parent feels this love because she recognizes the unique character of her child, and is able to appreciate it. This positive parenting approach tells the child that I love you just because you are you, or I think you are special because you are you. It doesn’t always have to be verbalized. It is a successful parenting skill that proves most effective when it is modeled by your behavior toward your child, as, for example, the beaming smile you might greet your child with when you return from work, or the way you talk to your child, or the way you talk to others about your child. For those parents who, themselves, did not receive a positive upbringing, positive parenting can seem silly, or well nigh impossible. This is understandable. I suggest that you play with this positive approach, starting slowly and simply. Once a day, for example, try saying something positive to your child, or if that is difficult, try your wife, or, hey, how about the dog! The point is start small and expand gradually. Successful parenting skills take time to feel natural. Eventually see if your positive comments equal your negative comments. Then see if you can givetwo positive comments to each negative. This will take time, but you will be surprised at how much better your child will behave once you get better at appropriately and frequently complementing your child. You’ll find yourself feeling happier too. If you as a parent are able to make significant improvement in positive parenting, that is to say, showing your children you care for them both verbally and in the way you treat them, you will find they will automatically behave better. Why is this true? What happens is that your child will begin feeling better about himself and because he feels better about himself, he will be less antagonistic to your directions. Try it. It works. I know. I’ve done it and seen the results. It takes time to change however, so be patient with yourself and your child. In summary positive parenting is a successful parenting skill that:
drawn to honey, your children will desire to do the right thing. You'll find positive parenting is a succesful parenting skill that works like magic.
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