A Parenting Tip To Catch Your Child's Attention
Parenting tip number two: Establish good eye contact with
your child. In order for a child to be guided by a parent he
must both hear and understand what his parent is saying.
Hence, in communicating with children, it is important that
we get their attention.
Occasionally in therapy, a child will not maintain eye
contact with me. When this happens I seek to establish eye
contact by either letting them know that I really like
seeing their bright faces when I’m talking to them because
in that way I can see if they understand me.
Alternatively, I may ask them how they feel when I turn away
when they are speaking to me. I will show them what I mean
by looking into a nearby wall, which they usually find
amusing. Sometimes, as for example, when they are looking at
the floor while I’m speaking with them, I may lean down and
pop my head into their line of sight to get my point across.
This often arouses a chuckle on their part.
Last, I may stop talking when they look away. They almost
always immediately return their gaze. On occasion I’ve
stopped talking in the middle of a sentence two or three
times. Curiously, the kids never got offended by my
behavior. The typical response was surprise followed by a smile.
A few children are eye contact challenged. However, I’ve
found it quickly decreases if I employ the above techniques.
On the other hand, I never demand that they look at me. The
kids often enjoy my eye contact techniques because I make a
game of it. Soon steady eye contact is established. I’ve
experienced cases where, particularly with the younger
children, I noticed an immediate positive difference in
their responses to me.
Curiously, I’ve never read about the importance of
establishing eye contact in any of my educational texts,
although it’s been reported that 80% of communication is
nonverbal. Nonetheless, I believe good eye contact has
helped me in therapy with my younger clients. Good eye
contact tells them that they are important to me. What’s
more, it allows them to automatically read my sincerity
and concern for their welfare.
Regarding this parenting tip, one must take into account
cultural differences in body language and age as well.
Interestingly, at the primary grade level, the techniques
described herein, particularly emphasizing the game aspect,
always reaped benefits. Obviously, steady eye contact does
not mean staring.
Work this parenting tip gradually into
your communications with your child and see if it works for you.
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