Parenting Styles Affect Development: Positive Parents Have Positive Kids

Parenting styles affect development of our children. If we
want positive kids, we must use a positive parenting style
that, not only notices the things a child does right, but
takes the time to praise her positive behavior. Negative
child behavior, like a sore thumb, immediately catches a
parent's attention, which, usually, rapidly results in
corrective action. Mistakes are often loudly and
emphatically pointed out to the child, while the many
things she did correctly remain unnoticed and, therefore,
unpraised.

Negative parenting styles affect the development of our
kids in negative ways. Hence, parenting styles affect the
development of our kids in either positive or negative
ways. Thus parents can consciously choose a positive
parenting style to create more positive children.

Love is not just a feeling. Because parenting styles
affect development of our children, positive parenting is
love in action taken toward our child in the form of
genuine praise.

What parents often forget is that everyone yearns for
recognition. Hence, positive parenting, in the form of
genuine praise, works like magic with everyone, especially
our children. Keeping in mind how parenting styles affect
development helps parents utilize their positive parenting
skills.

All parents desire positive behavior from their children.
When we parents genuinely praise our childrens'
behavior, we are, not only positive parenting, but we
are acting as positive behavior role models for our
children. Our children subconsciously respond to the
love inherent in positive parenting.

In other words, by praising our children, we are both
thanking them for their good behavior and teaching
them to recognize and thank others for good behavior.

This is positive parenting at its best and a good how
example how parenting styles affect development.

Parenting styles affect development of children's learning.

Research indicates that children learn best when their
learning is associated with positive feelings on their
part. Therefore, praising what they've done well improves
their learning of that behavior and is one example of how
positive parenting styles affect development. Therefore,
for optimal learning create positive feelings in your child
by praising them for what they've done well or
correctly.

Negative parenting causes the child to automatically
associate the parent with fear, something bad. Positive
parenting causes the child to associate the appearance of
the parent with something good. This positive parental
image makes the child want to please his parent. This is
positive parenting developing the love bond between parent
and child and is why it works in the long run, while
negative parenting works only over the short term because
the fear association subsides. Parenting styles affect
development positively or negatively. It is up to the
parent to decide which style to choose.

Positive parenting means taking the time to notice and
praise the things your child does right, by pointing them
out, and then praising him for his good behavior. It is
crucial that the praise be honest and in proportion to the
importance of what was done correctly. Positive parenting
requires genuineness. Parenting styles affect development
positively when they are genuine.

An example of positive parenting follows. After eight year
old Mary tidied her room, her dad might say, "Good, Mary,
you remembered to dump the waste basket and you've done an
excellent job clearing the clutter in your room. Did I
notice some toys under your bed? Is that where we agreed
they belong?"

Mary has been caught by her dad, taking the easy way out,
by sliding her toys under the bed. She knows it is wrong,
but her dad doesn't make a big deal out of it. Instead, he
not only praises the things she's done well, but puts the
responsibility back on Mary to determine if she did the
right thing. This is an example of how parenting styles
affect development toward independence.

Most kids of Mary's age possess a strong sense of right and
wrong. Chances are Mary will do the right thing and feel
good about herself for doing so. Her dad, not only praised
her and gave her a second chance to redeem herself, but he
showed sensitivity and respect for her feelings. This
exemplifies positive parenting showing respect for our
children.

It's important to remember that kids can manifest very
different behaviors even at the same age. One child may
prove very sensitive and a simple glance by dad in the
direction of the the bed might have led to a child
scrambling to put the toys in their proper place. Another
child may have completely ignored dad's question regarding
the toys.

Parenting with love and logic takes these individual child
differences into account. Successful parenting skill
requires flexibility at times. In the latter case, dad may
have to reach into his positive parenting bag of tricks and
find the approach that works best with this child.

For example, it might be that the child ignored dad because
he was rushing to play with friends. In this case he needs
reminding that tidying his room comes first. On the other
hand, the child might be in a bad mood and need to talk
about a problem. Or it might be the child normally does
tidy his room properly, but today he just needed a little
help getting started.

For positive parenting to work one must be aware of what is
happening with your child and respond appropriately.
Parenting styles affect development positively when parents
maintain an awareness of their children's feelings and take
them into account when interacting with their children.

Finally, it is important to show the child that he ignored
his dad, and just how that must feel, and what he might do
to rectify his action. Successful parenting skills require
consistently and calming correcting our children.

Positive parenting, also, means delivering praise with the
proper facial expression, in other words, not going about
praising mechanically. Hence, a parent needs to think about
praising ahead of time and feel right about it in his or her
own mind. Again, parenting styles affect development
positively when the parent maintains awareness of his
child's feelings. Good eye contact is important, not only
in communicating with your children, but, especially when
praising your child.

Another aspect of positive parenting is letting your child
know how much she means to you, not for what she has done
right but because of the unique person she is.

This is sometimes known as unconditional love. The parent
feels this love because she recognizes the unique character
of her child, and is able to appreciate it. This positive
parenting approach tells the child that I love you just
because you are you, or I think you are special because you
are you. It doesn’t always have to be verbalized.

It is a successful parenting skill that proves most
effective when it is modeled by your behavior toward your
child, as, for example, the beaming smile you might greet
your child with when you return from work, or the way you
talk to your child, or the way you talk to others about
your child. Your behavior toward your child is a
reflection of your parenting with love and logic.

Parenting styles affect development. So, for those parents
who, themselves, did not receive a positive upbringing,
positive parenting can seem silly, or well nigh
impossible. This is understandable. I suggest that you
play with this positive approach, starting slowly and
simply.

Once a day, for example, try saying something positive to
your child, or if that is difficult, try your wife, or, hey,
how about the dog! The point is start small and expand
gradually. Parenting with love and logic takes time to
become natural. Eventually see if your positive
comments equal your negative comments. Then see if you
can give two positive comments to each negative. This will
take time, but you will be surprised at how much better
your child will behave once you get adept at appropriately
and frequently complementing your child. You’ll find
yourself feeling happier too.

Understanding how parenting styles affected your
development will help you understand how your parenting
styles affect development of your child.

If you as a parent are able to make significant improvement
in positive parenting, that is to say, showing your
children you care for them both verbally and in the way you
treat them, you will find they will automatically behave
better. Why is this true? What happens is that your child
will begin feeling better about himself and because he
feels better about himself, he will be less antagonistic to
your directions. Try it. It works. I know. I’ve done it
and seen the results. It takes time to change however, so
be patient with yourself and your child.

In summary parenting styles affect development of your
child and positive parenting is a skill that:


  1. Means noticing and praising good behavior

  2. Means putting the responsibility on the child to
    evaluate and change negative behavior

  3. Shows respect for your child in word, thought and
    actions

  4. Out shines negative parenting, which fails in the long
    run because it is fear based.

  5. Works because the child associates good things with his
    or her parents and, thus, seeks to please them.

  6. The child learns what his parents want him
    to learn because positive feelings facilitate learning.

  7. Role models positive behavior for our children, so that
    they learn, not only to recognize it in themselves and
    others, but to consciously appreciate it in others.


Give positive parenting a try with your children. Like bees
drawn to honey, your children will desire to do the right
thing. You'll find positive parenting is a successful
parenting skill that works like magic.

For how parenting styles affect development link to parenting
with love and logical consequences.


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