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Positive Parenting Skills To Catch Children's AttentionIn teaching positive parenting skills, I've learned that oneof the biggest problems parents have is getting and keeping their children's attention. Hence, in teaching positive parenting skills, one of the most important parenting techniques is to establish good eye contact with your child. In order for a child to be guided by a parent he must both hear and understand what his parent is saying. Thus, in communicating with children, it is important that we get their attention and keep it. When I am teaching positive parenting skills, a parent often asks me how I get a child's attention? Occasionally in therapy, a child will not maintain eye contact with me. When this happens I seek to establish eye contact by letting the child know that I really like seeing her bright face when I’m talking to her because I can see if she understands me. In teaching positive parenting skills, I tell the parent to learn not to get flustered when the child isn't paying attention, but instead, try to turn the situation into a game. This is another one of many positive parenting techniques. With this game approach in mind, I may ask the children how they feel when I turn away from them while they are speaking to me. I will demonstrate what I mean by turning and staring into a nearby wall. Typically, they find this approach amusing. If I notice them staring at the floor while I’m speaking, I may even lean down and pop my head into their line of sight, just to get my point across. They usually find this hillarious. Some parents may think children won't take them seriously for utilizing such humorous positive parenting techniques. My experience, by and large, has been that they get the message because they know how they should be behaving. And they get the message in a positive way, making them feel better about, not only themselves, but their parents too. In teaching basic parenting skills, it is important for parents to realize that kids will be kids. They will not always pay attention to their parents. Plan for that. Hey, it's normal. So, why not have a little fun by making a game of it? Sometimes, I may stop talking when they look away. They almost always immediately return their gaze. On occasion I’ve stopped talking in the middle of a sentence two or three times. Curiously, the kids never got offended by this behavior. The typical response was surprise followed by a smile. Stop and enjoy the smile.This is another one of my positive parenting techniques. Finally, in difficult cases, it may be wise to keep the child near you when you are talking to or supervising her. Try crouching down or leaning over when communicating to her so you are at her height. This tactic often catches attention and improves communication. In teaching positive parenting skills, it is important for parents to praise children at every opportuntiy. Thus, when the child, who is not attending to me, turns and looks at me, I might smile or nod in her direction, or even say, "Good job," to a younger child. A few children are eye contact challenged. However, I’ve found it quickly decreases if I employ the above techniques. On the other hand, I never demand that they look at me. The kids often enjoy my eye contact positive parenting techniques because I make a game of them. Soon steady eye contact is established. Employing the positive parenting techniques mentioned herein, has always led to immediate improvement in children's attention, followed by improvement in their behavior. Curiously, I’ve never read about the importance of establishing eye contact in any of my educational texts, although it’s been reported that 80% of communication is nonverbal. In teaching basic parenting skills, I believe good eye contact has helped me in therapy with my younger clients. Good eye contact tells them that they are important to me. What’s more, it allows them to automatically read my sincerity and concern for their welfare because they are no longer tuning me out. Regarding positive parenting techniques, one must take into account cultural differences in body language and age as well. Interestingly, at the primary grade level, the techniques described herein, particularly emphasizing the game aspect, always reaped benefits. Obviously, steady eye contact does not mean staring. In teaching basic parenting skills, earning the repect of the child is emphasized because the child, who respects his parent, will pay attention to him. Positive parenting skills engender unconditional love. Summarizing this section, regarding teaching basic parenting skills and catching your chlld's attention, we learned the following:
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