|

Parenting Help For Troubled Kids
Parenting help for troubled kids can spell relief for
frustrated parents attempting to cope with temperamental
children.
Parenting a temperamental child can be the most frustrating
experience in the world to a mother and father. Even successful moms and dads may find themselves feeling like failures when a temperamental child is born into the family because the parental style that worked for their other children proved unsuccessful with the temperamental child.
Parenting help for troubled kids works with temperament
problems only after mom and dad understand what is meant by
temperament.
Temperament is a relatively stable set of in-born traits a child is born with that constitute a child’s disposition toward the world. So, for example, one can say that my daughter is disposed to being very active. She can’t sit still for a second. Other children are disposed to possess temperaments characterized by persistence, or a short attention span, or emotional intensity, etc.
There is no good or bad temperament, only some that are more challenging to cope with for some parents. This is why it is important for a parent to learn and understand the emotional temperament of her child, and then use that knowledge to formulate a successful parenting strategy. A second reason it is important to understand your child’s temperament is so you don’t blame yourself for her behavior.
In seeking parenting help for troubled kids with temperament
problems, it is advisable to seek counseling in order to
get professional advice in devising a proper strategy for
your child.
I recall a six year-old boy that was referred to parenting
help for troubled kids where I worked at a special day school. Danny's parents brought him to parenting help for
troubled kids because his temperament problem was not liking change. He frequently exploded in outbursts of anger when, for example, it was time to go to lunch. Danny proved very challenging to me, until I realized I needed to stop trying to change him, and devise a strategy to deal with his temperament.
I discovered that when Danny was informed fifteen minutes ahead of time that lunch would be served, he might frown and get mildly angry, but his temper tantrums decreased markedly. Soon, through experience in devising strategies to cope with Danny’s temperament, I learned just what to tell him to decrease his tantrums, and he, in turn, learned to ask me questions about the upcoming change that helped him adjust. Danny's improvement proved extraordinary, and it had everything to do with developing specific parenting strategies to cope with his difficulty adjusting to change.
So, in Danny's case, all that was required from parenting
help for trouble kids, was a specific strategy that
involved informing Danny ahead of time that a change in his
schedule was about to occur. He was informed an hour before
lunch of what to expect when lunch time arrived and again
forty five minutes later. For the most part, this solved
Danny's tantrums.
The following is a list of nine child temperament types that parenting help for troubled kids formulated strategies
to address:
- Mood is how negatively or positively your child reacts to
the world. This trait is rated positive or negative.
- Intensity is how loud your child is. This trait is rated
low or high.
- Persistence has to do with how much your child wants to
stick to an activity, or how stubborn your child is. This trait is rated low or high.
- Sensory threshold rates how sensitive your child is to
taste, touch, smell, sound, light and other physical stimuli. Rate this one low or high.
- Activity level rates how physically active your child is
generally. Rated this one low or high.
- Adaptability has to do with how easily your child adapts
to change, like a new activity. Rate this one
good or poor.
- Approach/Withdrawal rates how a child reacts to a new
situation or a stranger. Rate this one approach or withdraw.
- Distractibility rates how well a child attends or pays
attention when he is not particularly interested in an activity. Rate this one low or high.
- Regularity is rated according to how regular he or she
is with biological activities like bowel movements,
appetite and sleep. Rate this regular or irregular.
After rating your child, according to the aforementioned temperament traits, you will discover which trait or traits appear problematic for you and then create a parenting strategy to cope with your child's temperament as was done
with parenting help for troubled kids.
For example, if your child happens to greet the world with a negative mood that doesn’t mean he or she is a bad child. It’s just how he or she is. By understanding this is how your child was born and that this trait is unlikely to change, you can simply accept it, and formulate a successful parenting strategy, rather than frustrate yourself and your child by trying to change him.
This doesn’t mean you can’t humor your child. This doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy your child. He may turn out in his or her own way to be quite a character and someone who isn’t easily intimidated by other’s personalities. It does mean, however, that you have to learn a parenting strategy to cope with the child temperament in question. This is how parenting help for troubled kids succeeds.
Parenting and child temperament is the most important topic in the world to a mom or dad attempting to rear one of these, often, very challenging children. Hence, I suggest you read a book on the subject. There exist a number of good books that will not involve too much of your time. One is “Temperament Tools: Working With Your Child’s Inborn Traits” by Helen Neville and Diane Clark Johnson. A little of your spare time reading this book or other similar books, concerning temperament, could save you a lot of time and frustration in the long run.
An understanding of parenting and child temperament can aid in coping with personality clashes between adult and child, when, through no fault of their own, fate decides to team them up in as, for example, a combination of father and daughter. In such a situation, the daughter may be extremely active with high intensity. She spends her time noisily jumping from one activity to another. The father, on the other hand, may be sensitive to noise and possess a low activity level so that he seeks peace and rest after a long day’s work.
Parenting help for troubled kids helps families cope with
these problems through first, understanding the problem and
then devising a strategy to handle it.
This combination of parent and child can spell disaster because, while the child is energetically and loudly enjoying herself, she may be disturbing and exhausting her father who is babysitting with her. Knowing the potential for a temperament clash exists ahead of time can allow for planning to minimize this affect.
For more parenting help for troubled kids, click to parenting with love and logical consequences.

|