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How to Find a Counselor or Therapist?How to find a counselor? How to find a therapist? These are thequestions people searching for help ask. Counselors tend to present educational information, define and outline problems, search for and offer solutions, and aid in the decision making process. Therapists tend to gain a deeper understanding of the client's psychological traits in order to deal with the presenting problem. In practice, counselors and therapists utilize both approaches. How to find a counselor? How to find a therapist? To help find the right counselor for you, your child, or any loved one for that matter, we begin with a story about how one couple went about finding and choosing the right counselor for them. Carlos and Barbara were in there early thirties. They'd been married for almost ten years and had two children that were still in primary school. Both held good paying jobs at Kaiser Permanente. Carlos worked as a nurse, and Barbara held a top administrative job at the same organization. Although the first few years of their marriage proved happy ones, after the children were born, and, particularly, with Barbara returning to work, disagreements began to occur. They disagreed over how to raise their children. Barbara thought Carlos was too strict. At first they considered going to the pastoral clinical counselor at their church for advice, but then they procrastinated and never got around to going. They weren't sure how to find a counselor. Their lives had been too busy to make time to see the pastoral clinical counselor, until the situation had gotten so bad that it was affecting their children's behavior as well. Their grades were dropping, and there were a few minor behavioral problems at school where there were none previously. These were the main reasons they sought therapy. Divorce was out of the question since they were committed to one another and their family. What's more they said that divorce, for them, would only put off the problems they were now having, and that these problems would sooner or later return with the next partner. How to find a counselor that was right for their entire family was the present challenge. Since they were both professionals at Kaiser, they knew they could get counseling through their employer right at work. But how to find a counselor at Kaiser? Tip number one, regarding how to find a counselor, is determine your goal or goals. What do you want counseling for? In this case, Carlos and Maria decided they needed couple's counseling because they were arguing too much. Now that they'd decided upon a goal, how to find a therapist that fit right with their goal? Tip number two, get recommendations from people you know and trust, regarding therapists that might suit your goal. Presently, they wanted couple's counseling to help get their lives back on track. They spoke to their family doctor, to other professionals at work, to personal friends, and even to their local pastoral clinical counselor for advice about how to find a counselor. They made a list of eligible therapists and jotted down, along side each name, why that particularly person was recommended. They discussed the pros and cons of each therapist on the list. Carlos felt uncomfortable about therapy. Even though Carlos knew his colleagues at Kaiser would maintain the utmost confidentiality and that it would be less expensive using Kaiser, he had an uneasy feeling about attending counseling at his work place where he feared someone might notice him. Hence, Carlos was leaning in the direction of the pastoral clinical counselor at the church. Barbara, on the other hand, had no problem attending therapy at Kaiser. She knew some of the best therapists in the area practiced there. However, she did have reservations about going to a male therapist. That's why they excluded the pastoral clinical counselor at their church. Tip number three, regarding how to find a counselor, is discuss the pros and cons of each counselor among yourselves, before settling upon a particular therapist. After discussing these issues, Barbara and Carlos decided to see a female counselor who didn't work for their employer. She originally graduated with a degree in marriage family and child counseling. Tip number four: Everyone attending therapy must feel comfortable with the therapist. Carlos was right to rule out the pastoral clinical counselor because Barbara felt uncomfortable with male counselors. This tip may be the most important tip in regards to choosing a counselor. Even minor objections to a particular therapist must be taken into consideration. Take this tip to heart and find a therapist each person likes or at least feels comfortable with. Starting therapy on the right foot, in full agreement that you've picked the right therapist, may be the most important tip, regarding how to find a counselor. Ultimately, Barbara and Carlos settled upon Elaine Brown, rated as one of the best couple's therapists in the region. Nevertheless, Carlos still had reservations about counseling. Barbara complained that he was just trying to avoid therapy. Carlos maintained this wasn't the case that it worried him that with all their problems, the wrong therapist might make matters worse. After discussing this matter further they decided to follow tip number five: Interview your therapist before you decide to make any time commitment. Carlos and Barbara made it clear over the telephone that the first appointment would be only for the purposes of an interview. Elaine Brown agreed that would be fine and gave them an appointment for this purpose. After attending the appointment with Dr. Brown, Carlos and Barbara discussed their thoughts and feelings in regards to the session over the next several days. Regarding how to find a counselor, tip number six is give yourself some time to think, discuss and digest your thoughts and feelings with respect to the interview before making a decision. Up to a week is about the right amount of time. At first, Barbara liked Elaine Brown because she seemed to be on her side, regarding her problems with her husband. Over the next few days, however, she changed her mind and came to the realization that Dr. Brown jumped to conclusions, concerning her husband, that she'd seen her husband as a strict disciplinarian and as a ruler of the household, which wasn't the case. Barbara was beginning to have second thoughts about the pastoral clinical counselor at the church. When Carlos asked Barbara if she was reconsidering the pastoral clinical counselor, she admitted she was. Carlos, on the one hand, was impressed by Elaine Brown's confidence in analyzing and presenting the problem, but, on the other hand, he agreed with his wife that maybe Elaine Brown proved too quick in coming to conclusions. Hence, they decided to try a different counselor. This leads to tip number seven, regarding how to find a counselor, don't be afraid to reject a therapist and search for another. Keep in mind that sometimes different therapist styles suit different people. Hence, find the counselor with the style that suits you. Keeping this tip in mind, they returned to their list and discussed the remaining counselors. By this time, Barbara was having second thoughts about seeing a male therapist. Their pastor, Ray Silva, was a pastoral clinical counselor. Moreover, she'd met him recently at a church function and, particularly, enjoyed speaking with him. She'd been impressed that he, not only had impressive credentials counseling couples, but, also, did family counseling, something they'd consider after couple's counseling. They repeated the same procedure, following the tips mentioned above, regarding how to find a counselor. They made an appointment for an interview, and then considered the matter. It didn't take a week this time for them to decide that Ray Silva suited them. Right from the beginning they discovered they meshed with Ray. What particularly impressed was Ray's even handedness in therapy. He didn't appear to take sides, yet, he was willing to hold each of them accountable for his or her part in the challenging situation they now found themselves. Furthermore, he made room for each one of them to have their say about a particular topic. Ray didn't talk much during the session, but when he did, Barbara and Carlos felt he hit the nail right on the head. Finally, he gave them homework assignments each week that were proving to be helping them with there problems. Tip number eight, regarding how to find a counselor: After three to six sessions, one should feel that the therapist is helping solve or reconcile the problem or problems you want help with. If this is not the case, consider a new therapist. Not only was Ray helping them with their problems, but the frosting on the cake was the fact he advised they have their children seen by the school counselor as soon as possible. Carlos and Barbara weren't even aware their school had a counselor. Ray assured them that, not only was Jane Emerson an excellent school counselor, but that the sessions at school were free of charge. Through the tips mentioned here, Carlos, Barbara and their children got the help they needed. You can too. If one tip stands out above the rest it's this one: Be sure everyone in counseling feels comfortable with the therapist. In summarizing, how to find a counselor, the following tips stand out:
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