Counseling Techniques for Children

Counselor Experience and Counseling Techniques for Children

Introducing Dr. Glenn Marks, O.D., counselor, whose focus is
counseling techniques for children.

Glenn Marks graduated from the University, California
Berkeley Optometry School with honors earning a Doctor of
Optometry degree.

Additionally he has a BA, MA and PhDabd in Psychology. He
has taught optometry at Melbourne University in Australia
and has over 10 years of experience in child and family
counseling.

Dr. Marks was a school counselor for both elementary and
secondary students providing individual, group and family
therapy, and focusing on developing counseling techniques
for children.

Testimonials include the following:

From an elementary school teacher, discussing Dr. Marks'
good counseling techniques for children:

While at this school, “Glenn worked tirelessly with many
children that were referred to him from all class levels
including my own. He was invaluable in assisting the
teachers with those students who were disruptive in class
as well as those needing special attention. At times the
home life of these children was in chaos and Glenn offered
a kind heart and gentle approach, calming the children and
giving them encouragement. If the child was removed from
the classroom because of poor behavior they would return
from Glenn’s counselor session quieted and more
responsive.

Glenn also worked with the parents of these children
offering a complete and whole family approach to helping
the child. He screened the children for emotional and
social problems and, where appropriate, referred them to
outside therapists.“
From a school principal, describing Dr. Marks' good
counseling techniques for children:

“One of Glenn’s strengths is his ability to work with the
children’s families. There have been many occasions when
Glenn has counseled the parents of his students. The
student’s behavior and academic progress at school improved
dramatically once the family dynamics at home changed.
Glenn has been extremely successful getting fathers
positively involved in their children’s life.”
From the Clinical Psychologist Specialist from his school
district, concerning Dr. Marks' good counseling techniques
for children expertise:

“He is an astute and compassionate individual who has good
rapport with his students, school personnel and families.
He is culturally sensitive to my client and her mother’s
life situation. My client, who attends his groups, has
stated that they are very useful in helping her express her
emotions and learn social skills.”
From the District Psychologist of the school district:

“Amongst the many responsibilities he has accepted and
performed with unusual sensitivity and his professionalism
has been ongoing, with individual counseling to students
ranging in age from 5 years to 13 years, of many
ethnicities and varied backgrounds. His understanding of
personality, emotional and cognitive development of this
age group is thorough and he has demonstrated patient,
insightful, and consistent student support.”

Dr. Marks currently resides with his family on the West
Coast of the USA.

April 10, 2003

From: John Doe, NCSP
District Psychologist
Rincon Valley Union School District

Re: Letter of Professional Recommendation for Glenn Marks

To Whom It May Concern:

For the 2001 through 2003 school years, Mr. Glenn Marks has
been an invaluable member of the Madrone Elementary School
Support Staff. He has demonstrated remarkable skill and
dedication in his position as our School Counselor.

Amongst the many responsibilities he has accepted and
performed with unusual sensitivity and professionalism has
been ongoing, individual counseling to students ranging in
age from 5 years to 13 years, of many ethnicities and
varied backgrounds. His understanding of personality,
emotional and cognitive development of this age group is
thorough and he has demonstrated patient, insightful, and
consistent student support.

I have worked in coordination with Mr. Marks on numerous
cases. We jointly provided assistance and guidance to
individual students. Additionally, Mr. Marks was asked to
work with the School IEP Team on several of our most
challenging Special Education cases because of his expertise
regarding emotional pathology and family dynamics. He
provided strong and accurate insight; he has served with
remarkable skill as a liaison between school staff and
student home environments.

Many a time Mr. Marks has taken extraordinary measures to
make himself available to be of assistance including making
home visitations, counseling parents and assisting them in
seeking private assistance, even making the extra efforts to
contact individuals and institutions out of state when
information was needed.

"Unconditionally, without reservation, I recommend Mr.
Marks for any professional position that calls for terrific
counseling abilities, personable and accommodating
interpersonal relationships, and dedication to his
clientele."

Respectfully submitted,

John Doe, NCSP
District Psychologist, Licensed Educational Psychologist

Good counseling techniques for children is of little avail,
if the counselor does not have the proper attitude.
Proper attitude, therefore, is even more important than
good counseling techniques for children.

I am characterized by a never give up attitude. This
attitude enhances my good counseling techniques for children
and is part of the reason for my high success rate with
kids.

Besides attitude and good counseling techniques for
children, another reason for my high success rate is that
I enjoy and cherish kids. This feeling energizes my good
counseling techniques for children approach so that I am
able to persevere when the going gets tough.

My response to a child care worker that had given up on a
particular client he'd been working with after said client
flipped him off:

I've never seen a kid that couldn't be helped and I've
worked with autistic, severely emotionally disturbed and
relatively normal adjustment problems. I've been to the
barrio, the ghetto, and in all instances I found the kids
could be helped with good counseling techniques for children
and the right attitude. The younger the age, the easier they
were to help. There's a counselor or someone out there for
every kid, no matter how incorrigible or tough he or she is.

Furthermore, among all the counseling techniques for children
there exist one or more counseling techniques for children
that will prove successful.

The resourceful parent learns that kids are different and
different approaches work with different kids. That is one
reason there are so many counseling techniques for children

Society often looks for simple black and white answers that
might work with 50% of children. However, the many varied
counseling techniques for children allow one to work with
100% of children.

In my experience, children always behave the way they do
for good reason. Sometimes we can't figure out that reason
or we can't understand that reason so we often simply blame
the kid. That's the easy way.

This doesn't mean to say that the kid shouldn't be held
accountable for his behavior even if that behavior has been
caused be severe early abuse. Good counseling techniques
for children take this into account.

In the case of the kid that is forced to comply and behaves
well because of fear, sure he will flip you off once he's
free. Even the average person might do that.

However, utilizing good counseling techniques for children,
one can take that same kid and teach him to comply without
intimidation and there will be no flipping anyone off when
he leaves. That's a good example of good counseling
techniques for children.

Positive parenting is a lot tougher to maintain than
punishment type parenting because you have to think and
use your head and remain in control of yourself while
under fire, which is challenging when the kid is acting out.
However, this is what separates adults from children.
When you control yourself under fire, the kid learns to do
the same and eventually respects you for it.

Good counseling techniques for children involve the
developing of a parenting plan. An example of a simple
parenting plan, might be the following:

Develop a proper parenting plan and communicate this
plan to your children.
Formulate a list of child behavior expectations and
consequences.
Have your child participate in the process as is
appropriate for her age.
Communicate and role play these expectations to your
child.
Make sure your child understands these expectations
by having him explain them and perform them.
When a child performs an expectation incorrectly or
misbehaves, instead of criticizing him, role play it the
correct way. Then as he performs it, praise him for each
part he does correctly. This is an example of successful
parenting skills.
Learn to praise the many things your child does
correctly. For every negative comment, be sure you find
three or more positive things to say to your child.
Never lose self-control. Plan for power struggles by
not taking yourself too seriously, redirecting behavior
before it gets out of control, switching places with your
spouse, taking a time out, getting upset before you are
really upset, seeing the humor in the situation.
Consistency in adhering to the expectations and
consequences you've communicated to your child is the key
to transforming her negative behavior into positive
behavior.
Again praise your child for what he already performs
well, when he improves at something and when he genuinely
tries.
Always give a reason for the praise or describe the
praiseworthy behavior as follows: "I like the way you
picked up every toy in your bedroom, even the ones under
your bed, and put them all neatly in the toy box."

When you learn to catch the toughs doing good things it
blows their mind when you point that out. Now they won't
thank you for it and in fact they may hate you for it at
first. But kids are kids and eventually they come around if
you are tough enough not to lose your cool.

This is what I've learned from experience and good
counseling techniques for children.

Those parents who simply lash out at their children are
teaching them impulsive lack of control, exactly the
opposite of what we should teach our kids. These people
should not be raising children for they are adults who lack
the self-control and foresight to control their own
behavior, much less their children's.

June 15, 2007

In counseling techniques for children, I sometimes write
letters to my clients. The following is a letter, regarding
my counseling techniques for children:

It sounds like your son is losing his self-control and that
you are challenged by helping him with that. I'd get some
counseling ASAP. There exist a variety of counseling
techniques for children that should prove helpful. He's
just 12 so you have a good chance in turning him
around. However, he's getting near the critical 14 years of
age time when impulsiveness increases and control becomes an
even bigger problem. He needs to understand self-control is
good for him and he will feel better when he is in control
of his emotions, instead of being controlled by his emotions
or needing you to control them for him. A counselor with
adept counseling techniques for children can help with this
problem.

In the long run yelling doesn't work and only hides the
problem since kids are behaving only because they feel
intimidated. Hence, they will lie to avoid the
intimidation. When we yell and intimidate kids, we lose
their respect. You love your son and so you probably want
him to behave because it's good for him and because he wants
your love and respect.

Good job in seeking help. More parents should do so and do
it sooner than possible. In counseling techniques for
children, I found that the younger they are the easier
they are to treat. A six year old is 10 times easier to
treat than a 12 year old and 100 times easier to treat than
a 16 year old. Often a mom or dad with a six year old could
be significantly helped in one or two sessions. It's so
unfortunate people wait so long.

Parents need to understand that the counselor does not
really solve the problem or cure the problem but
demonstrates techniques and creates an atmosphere that
allows the love, care and concern parents have for their
children to be shown in a way that works for every one.
In the end the clients heal themselves.

Healthy love is often both simple and complex in its
manifestations. It's a challenge to teach many parents what
love in action looks like because they rarely experienced it
themselves. On the other hand, there are parents with
little education that somehow developed that knowledge,
probably through life's experiences. My grandmother
understood unconditional love, apparently, instinctually.
It's taken me a life time to understand it, and it will
probably require the rest of my life to really get it. This
is not because of lack of education-12 years beyond high
school-but due to my own upbringing that fixed certain
habits and thoughts in my
mind.

However, presently with counseling, one does not have to
depend upon oneself, but can use the knowledge and
experiences of trained professionals. Allow them to
shoulder some of the stress. A good counselor in action is
more like an artist than a scientist. It's a tricky craft
but extraordinarily rewarding and interesting.

For more information link to:

http://www.parenting-healthy-children.com/teen-parenting-lesson-plans.html

http://www.parenting-healthy-children.com/unconditional-love-really-means-unconditional.html

http://www.parenting-healthy-children.com

Good luck & God Bless

Counseling techniques for children stresses learning.
Counseling techniques for children emphasizes the use of
logical reasoning, explanation, consequences and praise.

Spanking is wrong for the same reasons punitive based
tough love is wrong. In counseling techniques for
children, I recommend against spanking for the following
reasons:

Spanking is disrespectful to the child. Therefore, she
will learn to disrespect you. Note respect does not mean
fear.
The child associates the spanking parent with fear
and not love.
Spanking demonstrates to the child that physical
violence is okay to use to solve problems.
I may spank my kid out of frustration or lack of
control, which is wrong.
I don't have to worry about the authorities taking legal
action for physical child abuse. I don't have to
feel guilty about hitting my child since I've decided not
to do it in the first place.
Spanking and tough love can be used as justificiations
for one's inability to give genuine praise.
Spanking teaches obedience out of fear and not because
it's the right thing to do or obeying out of respect for the
parent.
Kid should be taught with brain and not brawn. Kids can
be taught to behave through use of good parenting skills and
common sense. Spanking is not tough love, but an easy
response to our children's complex behavior. Learning, and
not spanking should be emphasized in parenting children.
Spanking makes the kid the problem, instead of the
problem the problem. Hence, the problem is never worked
through. The kid is simply afraid to engage in it while the
parent is around. He or she never learns why it is wrong and
and often continues engaging in the problem.
Spanking won't work with older kids. However, once parents
develop such a habit, it will prove difficult to
change later to other forms of parenting.

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