Authoritarian Parenting Styles Affect Development Negatively

Punitive or authoritarian parenting styles affect
development of children negatively. Punitive parenting
styles are marked by high behavioral control of the child
but low in warmth and responsiveness to the needs of the
child.

Take the situation where a parent employs physical
punishment as a means of disciplining his child, for
example. Chances are that parents who use physical
punishment learned it from their parents. Such parents
often have little idea how their authoritarian parenting styles
affect development resulting in higher rates of depression,
lower self-confidence and poorer social skills in the
children treated in such an authoritarian manner.

Although authoritarian parenting styles affect development
negatively, there exist other concerns with such styles.
For example, the parent who hits his child must worry about
possible legal issues. These days kids talk to their peers
in school about what is happening at home. Kids have been
known to turn their parents in to the authorities. Moreover,
communities no longer favor physical punishment as they once
did.

Hence, why bother to indulge in physical discipline if it can
lead to even more strife between parent and child, or even
involve the neighbors? It's just not worth the trouble.

More importantly, many parents feel bad about hitting their
children. These parents understand authoritarian parenting styles
affect development negatively since it sets a bad example for
it teaches children that physical violence is okay. Some
kids, being the great mimickers they are, certainly will
learn this lesson.

Another logical consequence of authoritarian parenting is
that, due to its severity, the child learns to hide or lie about
any negative behavior, thus creating a pattern of further
undesirable behavior. Since the child’s negative behavior
remains hidden, the parent remains blind to what is really
happening in his child’s life and is, therefore, unable to
support change toward more positive behavior.

One can easily see, in this example, how parenting styles
affect development leading to a child lying to escape
punishment, perhaps initiating lifelong deceitful behavior,
which I've personally witnessed.

Some of the parenting help offered here is from my own
experience observing how parenting styles affect
development. This experience tells me that too often the
desire to hit my children comes from my own frustration with
them. I may be frustrated with them because I have failed to
handle a particular situation properly, or because I had a
stressful day at work, or maybe because I am just plain
cranky.

No matter what the case, I am the adult. It is I who needs
to be in control of myself, which in itself, teaches the
child to maintain control of himself, which shows how
positive parenting styles affect development positively.

Nothing teaches better than example. And so, I need to learn
to use my brain rather than my brawn. Admittedly this can be
challenging at times. Yet, it is a relief to me as a parent
to know that I've ruled out physical punishment as a method
of disciplining my child.

Moreover, through a little parenting help, a parent can
learn to refrain from both physical and severe punishment
because she comes to understand, not only the negative
logical consequences of her behavior, but the positive as
well. A positive logical consequence of refraining from
physical or harsh discipline is that it may lead to the child
learning his parents accept him despite his flaws.
This teaches the child to accept both his positive and
negative sides and not deny they exist. Importantly the
child feels loved as the whole person he or she is, and
not for just what he is good at.

As you might imagine this unconditional love will reap big
benefits in the future by resulting in a stronger emotional
bond between parent and child-another benefit of how
positive parenting styles affect development.

The child in realizing he is loved by his parents, despite
his flaws, not only learns to love himself, flaws and all,
but since he recognizes his negative side, can also choose
to cope with it for the better. What’s more, this accepting
of both his negatives and positives gives him the ability to
accept others and move from the black and white simplified
world of childhood to the gray, complex world of adulthood.

This is how positive parenting styles affect development of
the child toward mature adulthood.

Many mothers and fathers, through a little parenting help,
will be relieved to find that there exist better methods of
disciplining children than authoritarian parenting. What's more
they will feel proud of their parenting skill.

Often, just a little positive parenting help can result in great
improvements in parenting skill. This is so because once
mothers and fathers experience positive results through,
parenting with love and logical consequences or positive
parenting in one situation, they commence using it in other
situations.

Summary of the main points of this discussion are:


  • Punitive or authoritarian parenting styles are high in
    behavioral control of children and low in parental
    responsiveness to the special needs of children.

  • Children of punitive or authoritarian families tend to
    possess poorer social skills, increased depression and lower
    self-confidence.

  • Physical discipline can lead to legal issues, worsen
    parental guilt, develop deceitful behavior in children, and
    models to children that physical violence is okay as a way
    of settling disputes.

  • Parents can mistakenly and unknowingly take out their
    frustrations on children through physical punishment. For
    this and other reasons parents may be surprised to find
    themselves relieved when they refuse to use physical
    punishment as a means of discipline.

  • Positive parenting styles affect development of children
    through modeling self-control, engendering self-confidence,
    self-acceptance, self-esteem, and empathy, as well as
    developing the ability to perceive the colorful complexity
    in life instead of seeing it simply in black and white.

  • Positive parenting styles affect development leading to
    mature adulthood.

  • Positive parenting styles require the mental toughness
    to maintain self-control that teaches the child self-control
    and keeps the focus on the behavior that needs correcting
    rather than scapegoating the child when the parent has lost
    self-control.

  • Once parents attempt parenting styles like positive
    parenting and parenting with love and logical consequences
    they soon appreciate the advantages of such an approach and
    are happy to change.


For more information to help you avoid authoritarian parenting,
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