|
Anger Counseling Tips, Relaxing and Working it ThroughAnger counseling now can help your child express heremotions with talk, instead of physically, for example, by fighting. Regarding emotions, a child has three choices. She can be taught through counseling to express her emotions appropriately. She can act out those feelings by attacking someone else, or she can act in and bottle up her feelings, where they may later burst forth uncontrollably or, alternatively, she may numb her feelings by turning to drugs, alcohol and overeating. Anger counseling teaches that everyone has a right to express his emotions appropriately using "I feel" messages. An example of an “I feel" message” is, "I feel angry when you make me clean my room," or "I feel sad when you get angry at me." This kind of emotional expression helps prevent angry misbehavior because the child verbalizes the problem, instead of acting it out. Second, it gives the parent information about the child that can lead to the parent doing something about it before it festers. In the "I feel" message examples given above, the parent may discover that the child was angry because of the way he asked her to clean her room or because he didn't praise the times she cleaned her room well. Anger counseling can, not only help children cope with their emotions, but help parents model these "I feel" messages to their children. In this way children learn proper emotional expression from their parents. This leads to the children, not only learning to express how they feel appropriately, but confiding in their parents. The more a child confides in his parents, the more he learns to trust them. This trust helps increase emotional intimacy between the child and his parents. Not only that, but the fact the parents show they have an interest in their children's feelings, also, engenders greater emotional intimacy. Improved emotional expression leads to better communication between children and parents. This means the parents of such children have a source of feedback from their children that many other parents do not possess, which over the long haul improves their parenting. Hence, because anger counseling may lead to proper emotional expression that enhances family communication and intimacy, children are less likely in the future to turn to drugs, alcohol, or overeating to deal with their feelings. Anger counseling, also, focuses on how we think about our anger. Angry thoughts are revealed in how we talk to ourselves when we are angry. Examples of anger provoking self-talk are: "She made me angry," and "I should or ought to do this." First, realize we are responsible for controlling our anger, not someone else. We take control of our anger when we stop making other people responsible or blaming others for our anger. Second, "shoulds," "musts" and "oughts" are demands we are making on ourselves or others because things didn't turn out exactly the way we preferred. We're refusing to accept reality, which leads to anger. Before getting angry at ourselves or someone else, for not living up to our "should" expectations, stop and think about it. It's done. It's a reality. No matter how angry we get, the fact that it happened is not going to change. When we can stop with the "shoulds" and accept reality, our anger will subside as well. Finally, it is important to focus on the positive things in our lives. Catch yourself doing something right and acknowledge it. Pass it on to someone else by catching them doing something right and praising them. Find a quiet place to relax. Breath in and out deeply and slowly while relaxing your body from your toes to your head. Imagine watching someone else getting angry the way you get angry and for the same reason. Notice how you feel. Now become him. How do you feel? Think about how you normally cope with anger. Can you take a break from the angry situation? Imagine a loved one speaking to you in a positive calm manner and telling you what you always wanted to hear. Now visualize and feel yourself coping with your anger in the way you would like to deal with it, using some of the strategies discussed herein, as well as some of your own. Repeat daily until you feel the anger no longer dominates you. Discuss your experience in anger counseling. The importance of emotional expression in anger counseling is summarized below:
counseling are summarized below:
following problems:
For information related to anger counseling click here and
|
